Creating the relationship of your dreams requires thought, resilience, planning, consideration, courage, support…all the things that we learn growing up.
But what if the way we learned, limited the way we think to such an extent that it closes us to what’s possible? Realising that you’re empowered; knowing that you are in charge; keeping going when it seems unlikely – these are important qualities to achieving any important goal.
It’s no different finding the one. There is a quality that can help unleash creativity, energise us, and facilitate our growth. It is proven to enhance young people’s ability to create, learn, self-regulate, and socialise. It is central for maintaining a young person’s sense of self and mental health. It is (or used to be) an essential part of a child’s life.
I suggest that it’s also a great asset for you in achieving your commitment of a loving, supportive, fulfilling relationship.
What is it?
Yes – bringing a sense of play to your relationship journey can have all these positive effects – from enhanced problem-solving, to creativity.
In hunter-gatherer bands, children are allowed to play and explore in their own chosen ways all day long, every day, because the adults understand that this is how they practise the skills that they must acquire to become effective adults. – Peter Gray writing in The Independent
This can be very challenging, because the relationship of your dreams is an important commitment you have – and play can be seen as frivolous unproductive time. In fact, it’s that thinking that is a product of being at school. Our time sitting in the classroom sets up an entire approach that doesn’t suit the way modern life works. Technology (from the internet to the mobile phones) has altered the way we relate with each other. The pace of change means people are having to adapt. Our social environment has been revolutionised. Facebook didn’t exist when I met my wife – never mind an app like Tinder!
At the same time, the human experience of love is universal and unchanging. We have a biological need to connect and form bonds – humans are social.
Bringing play to your commitment to create a relationship can not only relieve the tension, release the significance, and disappear the burden, it can free you up to create and explore opportunities.
A sense of play sets you free.
- Regularly take time to not think about creating a relationship – immerse yourself in a hobby, or spend time with friends – whatever it is
- Make up one way you could bring a sense of play to your commitment to create a relationship – smile at a stranger, say ‘yes’ to every social invitation you receive…anything
Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why can’t I meet good men?’ Discover your ‘Natural Dating Strategy’ and find out the answer.