Have you ever received a message on a dating app that made you despair about men?
Take a breath and imagine this…
…Eating lunch at work, you check your dating app. You see a new message from a guy you’ve been chatting to for about a week. He’s suggested meeting up for a drink after work on Friday at the bar down the road. Your heart beats a little faster.
…Speaking to your mum on the phone you say: “I went on a great third date yesterday. He was so easy to talk to. And get this – he calls and messages when he says he will. I can actually see a future”
…having had a bad day at work, feeling tired and frustrated. You get home you’re trying to find your keys in your bag, and he answers the door. He looks at you and says “are you ok? It looks like you’ve had a tough day”. You walk inside and he gives you a hug.
…waking up to the alarm, rolling over and snuggling in the arms of your great guy.
Maybe you can get dates but…
…you keep meeting either: a) ‘players’ – covering up their insecurity by proving they can pick up women, not interested in anything long-term, or b) ‘dweebs’ (for want of a better word) – who actually are insecure, badly dressed, sweaty palmed and desperate
…you’re frustrated with the mixed messages, risking your vulnerability, flirting, and being open – only to end up: a) bored and disappointed, b) hurt and rejected, or c) all of the above
…you’re fed up of being the ‘single friend’ and irritated at the thought of going family gatherings or friend’s weddings by yourself where people ask ‘so have you met anyone
To make it worse you keep wondering why internet dating has worked for friends but not for you.
Then you end up hating going out with friends because all they talk about are their boyfriends and husbands.
Even more frustrating – your well-meaning family and friends start to ‘advise’ with things like ‘you need to stop being so picky’.
Then worse still…they then ‘help’ by attempting to introduce to someone who would be ‘perfect for you’.
GO AWAY EVERYONE I’M GOING TO BE BY MYSELF FOREVER
Perhaps you’ve tried other dating advice, but it just doesn’t feel right.
Maybe you’ve watched YouTube videos from dating coaches and got inspired – but their suggestions seem over the top and difficult to do in every-day life…
…or you’ve read blogs or online articles, and feel better after reading them, and you resolve to act – but then find excuses not to do anything…
…or you’ve bought and read some *amazing* books, tried some ideas and made some progress – but get discouraged when you speak to friends and family.
Most dating advice can seem like ‘putting on an act’ or over-the-top and too difficult to do.
That’s because it doesn’t match who YOU are and YOUR personality
It’s time for an approach to dating that matches who YOU are – a ‘Natural Dating Strategy’
Whether you feel that:
- the dating advice you’ve tried just doesn’t work,
- it seems like there are no good men out there, or
- the support from your family and friends is terrible
You’ll learn how to meet a Good Man, that matches YOUR unique personality
I used to see dating as overwhelming. I would keep myself busy with other stuff like work, friends and more work. I pretended that I was looking for a relationship, when I was avoiding choosing. From the coaching, I had a new confidence in myself…I was dating more. And guys we’re asking me out!…Since I had the coaching, I’ve got engaged and we’re planning our wedding next year in Dublin.Jen (she has moved country and had a child since this was written)
My name is James D’Souza coach and creator of the Good Man Plan.
I take a different approach to other Dating and Relationship Coaches
My fundamental idea is that Good Men Exist and yet SO MANY women have the core assumption, deep down that ‘there are no good men’. I can explain what’s happening with masculinity, how it’s changing, and allow you to date with confidence, so that you can find someone worth your time and energy.
I start with YOU and YOUR unique talents showing how you can apply them to dating. There are patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that make you AMAZING at producing results in life. As a Psychology teacher and certified Gallup CliftonStrengths coach, I show you how to build a personalised approach to finding Good Men.
I view a fulfilling relationship as the greatest opportunity for self-development and an extraordinary challenge. After 13 years of marriage (and counting) I aim to create this experience for you. In my opinion a relationship is the greatest, most enjoyable roller-coaster of a lifetime.
I discovered that growing self-awareness is my secret weapon with over twenty years of personal development work, books, and coaching experience. I’m the guy that reads the self-help book and then does what it says. I built a great relationship with my parents, and forgave the ex-girlfriends to create the space to meet my wife.
How it works
You’ll do an online assessment (with a detailed, customised report) followed by two, in-depth personal coaching sessions. At the end you will:
- Create your personalised Five-step Dating Action Plan to get better dates NOW,
- Discover your hidden barriers to effective dating so that you can avoid Players, Narcissists, Boring Guys, Nice-Guy Misogny etc. AND
- Create complete clarity about YOUR Good Man
Session 1: You
We will analyse your CliftonStrengths Assessment which means that we’ll create five actions you can start doing immediately to dramatically improve your dating. The actions match your unique personality, so you are guaranteed to WANT to do them.
Then we will determine your ‘Dating Identity’ (Gazelle, Leopard, Labrador or Swan) which means that you’ll create your methods to avoid the Players, Narcissists, Too-Nice-Boring Guys etc. and set you up for dating success
Session 2: Your Good Man
Using my powerful ‘BDH’ Framework we will create what a Good Man means FOR YOU. Which means that you will be able to message on dating apps effectively, filter out guys who are not worth your time and energy, and begin to find the Good Men in your life.
These components create an approach as unique as your fingerprint – YOUR “Natural Dating Strategy”.
I have always had the illusion that I knew who Mr. Right was for me. Each time a relationship ended, I always thought I was the one to blame. After a powerful conversation with James…I didn’t know what I really REALLY wanted as a life partner (ouch!) Using the BDH Framework gave me real clarity of the type of guy I would want to profoundly connect with! Needless to say, that soon after my conversation with James, I met Henrik.Usua (She has got engaged since writing this.)
A method as unique as you!
Includes practical ideas to get quality dates including how to:
- Avoid ‘Players’ or ‘Narcissists’
- Message on dating apps effectively
- Make YOUR best impression on a date
You’ll discover how to use your unique talents and create the BEST dates FOR YOU.
With your ‘Natural Dating Strategy’ you could be…
…rebuilding and tweaking your dating profile, confident about what to write so that it reflects your unique strengths and deeper values. Enjoying the process.
…checking your dating app and spending 20m reading two good quality, well-written messages. Their profile pics look good too!
…sitting on your commute and you see a great looking, well-dressed guy. You turn to him and say “that jacket looks great on you”. He smiles, nods and says “Thank you! You made my day!”
…catching up with your best friend: “I had a great first date yesterday. The conversation was real – he didn’t mess about, I know exactly where I stand. And get this – he messaged this morning when he said he would”
…opening your wardrobe, excited to be choosing an outfit for a family party. Excited because you’re going to be arriving with your boyfriend and introducing him to your family.
I had tried everything. I had recently put up my profile on a dating app, but hadn’t messaged anyone. After the coaching, I went on my first date in a long time! The coaching got me thinking about my own strengths and needs. I realise it’s about me putting myself out there. Six months ago, I didn’t expect that I would have been on a date. Now it’s about conveying the REAL ME on a date and practising REAL CONVERSATION.Clare (not her real name)
But what if…
…I don’t have time? Then you’ll get the same results you always have. How you manage your time currently is likely what’s stopping you in dating right now. It’s going to take being honest with yourself about what you want and what you’re currently doing to meet a Good Man. That will mean restructuring and challenging your current view of how you manage your time.
…I don’t have the money? It comes down to whether you think it’s worth investing in yourself. Nobody is going to give it to you unless you ask, and commit. Besides – it’s never about the time or the money – we can always work that out when we *really* need to. The way you are about finding the money is probably linked to the way you are about meeting a Good Man.
…I’ve never been coached before? You’re in for a positive, challenging experience! It’s different from being ‘mentored’ or ‘trained’. You develop yourself with my support by grappling with your own opinions; by identifying your own barriers; and by creating new actions. Coaching supports growth – and lasting change.
…it doesn’t work? There are no guarantees in life. Covid-19 has showed us that! Nothing I write, say, or do is going to is going to allow you to meet a Good Man without your willingness to be responsible for your life. But – after completing coaching sessions with me (including taking the required actions!), you will be: clearer about YOUR patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, AND starting to think about what a Good Man means FOR YOU.
…I’m not sure if it’s for me? If you’ve read this far, you’re a single woman who’s serious about meeting a good man – and probably been frustrated in your attempts to do so. You may have dealt with difficult circumstances, but you’re starting to see limitations. If you’re not that kind of woman, up for this kind of challenge, then this isn’t for you.
What women are saying about the ‘Natural Dating Strategy’
I would pick the wrong guys – narcissistic and avoidant men. I’d waste time and feel like I’m on a constant roller-coaster. Learning about my strengths has helped me not to be frightened about who I am. This is me. I’ve re-written how I respond because your coaching has empowered me. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Thank you!
I was stressed, desperate and put pressure on myself and my relationship with my mother. I held so much significance about finding a man because people’s expectations. With James’ coaching, I have reconnected with my mother – I share everything with her: the dates, the ups the downs. It’s given me freedom and increased the quality of men I meet.
I found it hard to find a decent man, so I took on [James’] compliment challenge…and I actually complimented a stranger. During my coaching I had a first date and it was surprisingly relaxed. I didn’t have the usual knot in my stomach and was able to just be in the moment. I have realised that my dating life is down to me and I am able to create opportunities.
Start creating YOUR Natural Dating Strategy
The Natural Dating Strategy includes:
- Identifying your specific Dating Strengths with a deep-dive session into your unique talents – £148
- Giving you total clarity about YOUR Good Man with an in-depth discussion using my ‘BDH’ Worksheet – £148
- Putting together new Dating Habits so that you can avoid Players, Narcissists, Nice-Guy Misogynists, Boring Men, etc. by identifying your hidden dating barriers – £99
- Creating your personalised Five-Step Dating Action Plan – £99
Total Value = £494
The next two women who invest in the Natural Dating Strategy will receive it for just £294
You’ll ALSO get these bonuses
- My ebook ‘How To Approach Men In Real Life’ – a 15-day course with simple, daily actions to get you comfortable starting a conversation with a man you don’t know.
- A 30-minute video class ‘How To Avoid Players In Dating Today’ – including five specific strategies you can use
In exchange for this great value, I’m looking for women who are serious about creating a fulfilling relationship and telling your success story. Like Emma and Steph:
I used to have complete meltdowns before I could even go on a date. I have struggled for years to deal with the fearful and spiralling thoughts in my head in the dating process. It feels like I have unravelled a big knot in my brain that has always been there. It’s like the strings are all finally cut and I can now move forward more freely. I can remember for as long as I have been single, dealing with this crazy level of dating anxiety. You literally cannot understand how liberating that is for me.Emma
I’ve been single for years and then been out with guys where it’s been a nightmare. Forget about the men – it’s been more about developing me first and surrounding myself with good people. After my second session, I decided to join Match. The third guy I contacted asked if he could call, and since then we’ve seen each other every day. My friends and colleagues have said I’m beaming. I’m not going on about my past. I’ve let it go. This isn’t a new chapter – it’s a whole new book. I’m embracing my talents, I’ve achieved my goals, and I’m raving about you!Steph