If something goes wrong, we can think there’s something wrong with us, or something wrong with them.
Most of the time when developing ourselves, we look at our weaknesses and work on them. A strengths-based approach focuses on what’s right with us – and the doing more of that.
It can actually be difficult to identify our strengths. We might even take our talents for granted – and not appreciate the unique contribution we make. My approach puts your talents at the centre. I use the CliftonStrengths assessment to understand your strengths, and then coach you to understand, appreciate, and apply your talents.
Personal Qualities That Make You Unique
Spend less time attempting to improve your weaknesses, or change them. I suggest that growing your self-awareness of your talents is essential to creating the relationship of your dreams. This is the main idea of a strengths-based approach.
Think about how you write. You do it with your favourite hand normally. Now – go ahead and write your name with your non-dominant hand. With practice, you could get much better at writing your name with your other hand. But it will never be as simple, easy, and smooth as it is with your dominant hand. This is what it’s like when we work on our weaknesses, instead of enhancing our strengths.
You have personal qualities that make you unique: the repeated patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that make up you. A strength is where these patterns are applied usefully.
When I took the CliftonStrengths assessment, I was not only shocked at how well it articulated my particular patterns, I started to see how I could use them across my life.
I was so enamoured with this approach, that I trained as a coach in this methodology. I then chose to bring this coaching to the area of relationships – and empower women to create the relationship of their dreams.
Knowing Yourself, Expressing Yourself
Creating a relationship requires being aware of yourself. Understanding your wants, needs, and desires means you can start to examine what kind of person would make a great partner.
This is not something that happens immediately – you can’t text, or say a script, and the relationship magically appears. It takes thought, commitment and self-awareness. Knowing yourself and expressing yourself positively is what creates a dream relationship.
Taking actions based on your talents allows you to explore what you really want, and understand how to empower yourself and those around you. With this idea in the background, meeting someone who you matches what you want increases.
From coaching women using this methodology, people have reported greater ease and confidence with finding good guys, an increase in the quality of dates they go on, and seeing a possible future and pathway to the relationship of their dreams.
Fundamentally, the women I have coached feel better about themselves – and are able to express it.
Suggested Actions:
- Take the CliftonStrengths test, (it costs around £15/ $20) and start to explore and practise your Top Five Strengths. They give you the chance to bring clarity to your repeated patterns of thinking feeling and behaving – and start to own their unique contribution.
Want more?
Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why can’t I meet good men?’ Discover your ‘Natural Dating Strategy’ and find out the answer.
Where are you stopped creating your dream relationship? What do you think is the biggest reason? Let me know in the comments.
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
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