Get specific to increase your likelihood of meeting someone great.
Knowing what you want is a great starting point. Then sharing “elevator pitch” style with family and friends multiplies your effectiveness. Using the Be-Do-Have framework gives you a basis for action. You can start to get specific with a simple question – where would they go?
For example, someone who is passionate and creative (be) might dance (do) and keep dancing shoes at home (have). But this can be taken further, because someone like this is likely to be at a salsa dancing club…or perhaps teaching the class. Here are some more examples:
Be/ Do/ Have – – – Go?
Reliable/ Meet regularly as part of a book club/ Have a particular book on their shelf – – – Bookshop
Caring/ Take his mother out for lunch/ Pictures in his wallet of his parents – – – supermarket at a time when it’s not busy
Self-expressed/ Go shopping for his own clothes/ Distinctive style or dress sense…or trousers that fit – – – Clothes shop
This way of thinking might sound obvious, but it takes practice. The important point is to start with the being, then separate the doing and having. Finding a place where they might go then becomes relatively easy.
Sometimes women (and men) expect to be swept off their feet. Someone you meet in a club, or out socialising is not likely to match what you’re looking for, unless you’ve selected the place in advance for a specific reason. It’s time to go beyond the bar. Life is not a romantic comedy, so stop living like it is.There are no “meet cutes” in real life. Real life is messy, awkward, annoying, frustrating, scary, and – you can think of your own experiences.
With a bit of thought, you can increase your chances of meeting someone you might actually like. This approach puts you in charge. The whole experience is your creation. It can free you up to think creatively, enjoy yourself, and discover what you’d like in a relationship.
- Create your Be-Do-Have list – have two to three things in each area
- Speculate as to where they might go – make a list of three
- Go there – to an event, shop, situation – in the next week
- Compliment one guy you find attractive
Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why can’t I meet good men?’ Discover your ‘Natural Dating Strategy’ and find out the answer.