At a fundamental biological level, men, women – we’re human, and humans are social.
Connecting with others is core to the experience of being human. When creating your relationship, expressing gratitude can help you connect with others at a deep level.
Over the years though, the ways we connect have multiplied. Technology has changed everything.
I’m considered old by some – because I’m in my forties. But I had an analogue childhood and I’m a digital adult. It’s made (some of) my generation better at adapting to technological changes – but it’s still very challenging. You can probably remember a time without mobile phones, without the internet. Perhaps you spend hours chatting on the phone to friends in your teenage years.
The change (and pace of change) means the world of relationships is even more fraught. But traditional roles and stereotypes still have an impact because of our biological and evolutionary make-up. Women are seen to be emotionally aware. Men bring logical, considered, and thoughtful ways of operating.
More deeply, even though our biology is different we still crave connection – real connection. Skin to skin.
And there are some things we can do that affect us on a biological level – that are quite surprising. For example, expressing gratitude releases oxytocin. This is a hormone (meaning it’s a chemical messenger in the bloodstream) that is also a neurotransmitter (meaning it is present in nerve cells – commonly influencing brain function). It’s also known as the “pair-bonding” hormone. Higher levels of oxytocin are linked with positive relationships. My wife and I heard about something called a ‘Jar of Awesome‘. We’ve been doing it for two years now. All we do is write down on a post-it note anything great that’s happened in the past few days. Then at the end of the year, we take some time to reflect on our year. It’s a simple way to build appreciation for our lives.
Given your commitment to create your dream relationship, setting up a practice of expressing gratitude is a foundation for connecting with others around you.
- Start a gratitude journal. The The Five Minute Journal is a great structure. This will uplift your experience of life and build natural connection (with the men) in your life.
Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why can’t I meet good men?’ Discover your ‘Natural Dating Strategy’ and find out the answer.