Coaching has become a popular and worthwhile investment: from personal training to executive coaching.
With easy access to almost every and any kind of information – problems can easily be solved. But, we can only go so far by ourselves.
The vast range of relationship coaches available demonstrates people seek to grow. But how do you choose the one that’s right for you?
To hire a coach is a very personal thing. But to take on a coach in the area of relationships requires particular courage and commitment. Courage because coaching is seen by some (still) as an admission of weakness, but also courage because this is a deeply personal area. Commitment because the results are a function of the time and effort put in – and because it requires spending money and putting aside time (there are many other things you could be doing with your time and money!)
If you’re reading this, you’ve got some courage and commitment.
Start With Self-Awareness
Relationship coaching has grown in popularity. There are so many people offering it. This is a good thing for those people looking to get coaching, because there is likely to be a coach for your specific situation. It’s also good for people like me because its popularity means it is in demand (the market doesn’t lie – if there’s demand, someone will create something to meet it).
When choosing a relationship coach, choose one that’s right for you. Ensure they understand your specific problem and situation. That’s kind of obvious. But there is a more subtle consideration. Choosing a relationship coach requires self-awareness.
For example, if you’re the kind of person that makes choices instinctively, and trusts your gut instinct – and it has served you well in the past, then you could choose your relationship coach that way. The opposite is true also – are you the kind of person that completes research, due diligence, and carefully considers before choosing? It would make sense to take a similar approach.
Of course, you could do the opposite. If “life begins at the edge of our comfort zone” as the cliche goes, then how about intentionally choosing a relationship coach in a completely different way to what you normally do? It would certainly kick-start your relationship journey!
Do You Prefer Insight Or Experience?
Some coaches are insightful, understanding, and give you a different view of your situation and commitments. They are outside you, and they can see things from a totally different perspective. They coach from this perspective, using whatever methodology they’re trained in.
This means they can suggest approached, ideas, considerations and actions that you would never have considered. In taking these actions – your relationship journey alters.
It also means that they don’t necessarily need to have experience in relationships. There are plenty of relationship coaches who are single. That does not mean they would not make a difference – you’d just need to be guided by clear personal preferences.
Other coaches come from a place of experience; they have been on a relationship journey and maybe they’re now married. They have been through what you’ve been through – even if it was their experience – and are willing to share it with others to support them on their journey.
This might mean that they have not trained formally, or in any particular methodology. Their experience is so powerful, compelling, and shared in such an uplifting way – that you can’t help but learn from it.
Of course, both approaches are equally valid – but it’s likely you’ll be drawn more to one than the other.
Empower Through Appreciation
In writing this post, I started to consider my coaching style, and what kind of woman would benefit most. I realise that I combine the specific methodology (applying CliftonStrengths) and a place of experience (creating great marriage).
I emphasise the importance of commitment, consideration, and self-awareness. The kind of women who are likely to benefit most are into self-development. Perhaps you’ve participated in courses and read books. It’s probable that you’re clear you want to create an amazing relationship – you’re not afraid of commit. It’s also likely that you’ve had some coaching, but not a lot of personal experience. You might also be fed up of going on dates only to spend time with none of the kind of men who appeal to you.
My purpose is for you to discover your unique talents and attract a great guy.
My approach focuses on you. I emphasise your uniqueness and the way you demonstrate your strengths. I support you in identifying your areas of brilliance, understand and appreciate your talents. Then I have you apply them to creating your relationship.
Does my approach resonate with you? Complete this survey for you to see if I’m the right coach for you.
What are the different approaches and coaches that have made a difference to you? Let me know in the comments.
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