Talking with one of my friends recently about about motherhood and divorce, it became clear that being a single woman isn’t one category – there are a range.
This is because society as a whole is changing: the percentage of single and divorced people is increasing.
Now this might sound obvious to you – but I’d never considered it until that conversation.
My purpose with findaniceman.com is to to cause a breakthrough in the conversation for romantic relationships between men and women. After, speaking with my friend (and again it sounds obvious now) I see that different groups of single women have different wants, needs, desires, concerns, fears…I can’t approach each person or group in the same way – and neither would I want to!
This got me thinking about what those different groups might be, and how I might identify and make a difference with them. Being a logical and thoughtful (i.e. geeky) bloke, here are the group I see (and yes, I know, there are probably more) – divorced with children, divorced without children, single and never been married, widowed, career driven, Asian pressured…
In writing this, it feels a bit cold and harsh – the reality of the situation facing single women is tensing my stomach a little. I also have to say – this has really focused my thinking on the best way to move things forward – not just for all the single ladies, but also for the nice men. Taking my ideas further, I came up with the table below.
I feel these identifying these groups gives focus to the purpose of findaniceman.com. It could support you getting the most from my material. Me being me though, I went a bit further. I did some searching on the Office for National Statistics website and found two reports:
- Population Estimates by Marital Status and Living Arrangements – England and Wales, 2002 to 2014, and
- Marriages in England and Wales: 2014
Here are ten findings:
- Between 2002 and 2014 the proportions of people aged 16 and over who were single or divorced increased, but the proportions who were married or widowed decreased.
- Those aged 45 and over pushed the increase in divorced people between 2002 and 2014, with the largest percentages divorced at ages 50 to 64 in 2014.
- In 2014, cohabiting is most common in the 30 to 34 age group.
- More women (18.9%) than men (9.8%) were not living in a couple – having been previously married or civil partnered; this is due to larger numbers of older widowed women than men in England and Wales in 2014.
- The largest number of divorced people is in the 50-54 age group, although it first becomes visible in the 25-29 age group
- 24.9% of adults in England and Wales were ‘not living in a couple: never married or civil partnered’
- The proportion of people who are single has increased steadily over time, from 29.6% in 2002 reaching 33.9% in 2014.
- The number of marriages in 1944 was around 400,000. In 2014 it around 250,000 (look the graph below)
- Average age at first marriage in 2011 for men was 32.2, and women 30.2; in 2014 it was 37.0 for men and 34.6 for women
- Among the total adult population (16 and over) 37.3% of men were single vs 30.7% of women (this one’s my favourite – there are nice men out there!)
All the information here shows the wider changes happening in modern life. Your individual situation has context. You are not alone. You are not bad because you are single. Wanting to be in an amazing relationship is completely possible.
Note: since I wrote this post, the latest version of the one of the reports has been released: Population estimates by marital status and living arrangements, England and Wales: 2002 to 2016
- Make a list of the things you say about relationships. Be brutally honest.
- Reflect on this. Look deeper – what are your concerns? Write a list of your concerns. Again brutal honesty.
- Form your set of concerns, what actions could you take? Pick one action and set time to do it this week.
Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why can’t I meet good men?’ Discover your ‘Natural Dating Strategy’ and find out the answer.